The ssssssssss code

No fool I, and no blind man.

There was considerable overlap between the Eastern European sojourns of Agent LVN and the woman we call "Dinah." In those days she was known as Diana of the Bloody Star.

She was the mistress of a high-placed NKVD officer. Well, this same man was eventually found, tongue missing, in a Bucharest brothel. The doctor who prepared the body (a long and grueling job) for his Soviet state funeral swore that despite the missing appendage, the kamrad had died smiling. Joyful and... excited.

Interesting tidbit: the madam of this house of ill-repute spent little time there, as she needed to keep an eye on her husband so that he would not drink away all their black market profits. Her understudy, as it were, handled the day to day business. That girl? None other than LVN.

I have gradually learned to decipher this sibilant language of theirs. There's "No, that's not the antidote to the nerve toxin." And also, "Keep your pet junkies away from my herb garden." Most exchanges, though, are recriminations over the end of their lesbian affair.

It is my bidness to know these things.

Book larnin'

Handout provided to all members of the Hootin' Holler Book Club

Titles planned for this quarter:

Advanced Microbiology and Germ Warfare
Assassination Etiquette
How to Change Your Identity and Your Adversary's as Well
Chairman Smith's Little Tobacco Brown Book
The Care and Feeding of Secret Armies (Recommended by Luisa Smith)
Surgery With Half the Ethics and None of the Paperwork (Recommended by Agent LVN)
How Stella Got Her Groove Back (Recommended by both)

Am I snookered?

It has been pointed out to me that I have something in common with the late M. Bonaparte. (A relative amateur in the art of conquest, one with little sense of the long game.) Yes, I too am low to the ground. One sees much that way.

Does my stature hurt my billiard game. A fair if rude question. The truth is, I have been known to throw games. I find that final clattering victory has more of an impact if it is in doubt. As well, it puts opponents at ease, and one must have willing opponents. It has become nearly impossible to scare up a ping pong match.

One final note. I often receive questions regarding LVN and the schoolteacher, Madame Prunelly. Are they in fact the same woman? For now I will only reply that there is a reason every deck of cards has two jokers.

The psychic war at home

From the notebooks of Lucas Morrison
The city has its beautiful women and its nocturnal degenerates.

The countryside has its rustic pleasures and dangerous animals.

No place I have known has another Elviney (my pet name for Colonel LVN). And yet she combines qualities from each category. And so living with her requires me to draw on all my experiences. It is an exhilirating ordeal, one not for all men.

Oh, some may grouse "mental cruelty" and "gaslighting." I'll have none of it. They have never been married. Least of all have they been married to a rival in the service of Smith's vision.

Itchy ruler finger

I've heard talk of launching "Operation Cooties" from the schoolhouse. I must say, it's an intriguing concept. But it shall not happen, not until I give the word.

If LVN believes that sending home her germ-ridden charges to infect selected members of the herd... Well, if she thinks she can undermine me by moving forward on her own, that is an unwise thought.

School for scandal

From the journal of LVN, educational minister
The girl, the one with the red ribbon and the raven black hair. Do I see something of myself in her? Yes, I certainly do. As a girl, a flowered slip of a thing. Yes, before the battle scars and the lessons that so few women survive. Before I knew what commitment was, and who was worthy of mine. So young! So raw!

My instruction of these young women is far from complete. They must learn. The sexual instinct is a great and powerful thing. You must make it your servant and not your master. You must make men your servants. They'll be only too happy to make you the fools they are.

And most especially, be cautious around boys like Smith's spawn, Jörg. Because of his blood, he thinks himself special. Well, special he may be. Time will tell. But he will be humbled and will learn to learn the hard way if Ms... If I have anything to say it. No special treatment from the girl children on my watch.

Teacher of dark lessons

The operative known to me only as LVN--the source of the colloquial "Elviney"--is an enigmatic one. She has been employed by Pinochet's personal security detail and worked with several Maoist groups, and thus her associates have spanned the ideological spectrum. Her motives are her own.

Currently she is responsible for the education center, deceptively primitive in appearance. The children show her unquestioned loyalty and obedience, even love. This despite--or because of--the permanent missing status of a few of her unrulier charges. For me she has inspired surprise, bafflement, and yes, the occasional twinge of fear. (All of which I shall deny if it is repeated to her.)

In all frankness I never asked Lucas to take LVN as a lover. Nor would I have done so. The man's ego and impetuous loins are responsible for that.
Yet, perhaps an advantage. When two of one's officers are locked in marital combat, it tests the mettle of both. Thus I may determine, as the plan progesses, who shall hold the more reins.